My Secret Life, chapter three is an excerpt from a fictional humorous story in a magazine in EarthBound and Mother 3. It is about a person who speeds unnecessarily down the Jersey Turnpike, then makes a lie to the police officer that slowly gets more and more implausible. In EarthBound, it appears in the drawer of a house west of Onett that Ness can buy for $7500. In Mother 3, Lucas and co. can find it on a shelf in the Chimera Laboratory, near a copy of Overcoming Shyness.

Story Text

"My Secret Life, chapter three." (Story from the previous chapter.) I was neither a murder suspect, nor a target for an international spy organization. But I drove a car down the Jersey Turnpike at 80 mph. ...A police officer pulled me over and asked for my driver's license. He said I was going 20 mph over the speed limit. I instantly pointed to my wife and said, "I'm in a hurry, my wife is in labor." Fortunately, my wife actually had a big stomach. I hoped he'd let me go with this excuse. "Oh, since it's an emergency. I'll lead you to the hospital with my police car," he said. "No, it's not necessary." "Why not?" asked the officer. "Uh... well..." "Let's get going," said the officer... "No, no! We can't! This baby is a demon child!"

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