"Ayiiieee! I think it's a dung beetle. I'll smash your guts out."
— Lardna Minch

Lardna Minch, known in Japan as Lardner (ラードナー Rādonā), is a character in EarthBound. She is the mother of Pokey and Picky Minch, and the wife of Aloysius Minch.

Because her husband Aloysius allegedly loaned a few hundred thousand dollars to Ness's Father (although Aloysius himself admits it could have been a lot less), and was never repaid, she and her family seem to hold a grudge against Ness and his family for this reason alone.

Early in the game, Lardna swats Buzz Buzz after mistaking him for a dung beetle, causing the alien to succumb to his wounds soon afterward. When her husband and Pokey leave, she has no clue as to how or why they did so. She decides to go shopping while they are gone and is nowhere to be seen until after Ness defeats Giygas and she is inside her home with Picky and Mr. Prettyman.

During the events of Mother 3, there are several robots designed in the likeness of Lardna Minch that work in the restaurant Beauty & Tasty in New Pork City.


  • Even though she is not shown to have physically harmed her sons like her husband has, she tells Ness that her husband goes too easy on Pokey and Picky, therefore implying that she would hurt them even more than her husband does if she decided to.
  • Two of the Beauty & Tasty robots that Lucas can speak to indirectly reference her meeting Buzz Buzz and her son Picky. Since New Pork was built from almost nothing, Porky could possibly have still loved his mother even after constant abuse.
  • While Aloysius Minch's name may be an ironic reference to Atticus Finch from To Kill A Mockingbird, Lardna's could not be due to Atticus's wife not being referred to by name in the novel.
  • Lardna's name could refer to her obesity, as her name clearly has the word lard, which is made out of pig fat, in it.
  • There is an unused line in Mother 3 where a character claims to be the producer for "Mr. Pirkle and Ms. Lardna's Love Nest"[1].
  • There is an enemy in EarthBound Beginnings named "Bag Lady", which you can encounter outside Merrysville. She looks very similar to if not exactly like Lardna. Though not stated, if she is Lardna, she could be the only character to appear in all of 3 games of the series (perhaps one of two, assuming that the theories about Dr. Andonuts are true.) Alternatively however, it could just be a coincidence, considering that the Cranky Lady and Extra Cranky Lady enemies in EarthBound also bear a resemblance to Lardna and by extension the Bag Lady.


  1. Block 170 of Mother 3's text