- "Yes, I'm Everdred, boss of Burglin Park. When I jumped off the roof, I twisted my ankle. Anyway, I lost and nothing will change that. You know, you're pretty strong. Yeah, I know that you want to find out about a girl named Paula. She went off to a secret hideout in the Peaceful Rest Valley. A chubby boy and a weird guy in a blue outfit have kidnapped her, though. They said that they were going to make Paula some sort of human sacrifice. They were definitely hard-core strange. You know, she might be gone already. You'd better hurry. If you save Paula, be sure to come back here, okay? Don't forget!"
- — Everdred
Everdred (トンチキさん,Tonchiki-san) is a character in EarthBound. He looks like a husky, middle-aged man with a small black hat, glasses, and mustache, wearing what looks like an orange Hawaiian shirt. His Japanese name, Tonchiki, means "dimwit" or "numbskull".
In battle, he occasionally wastes his turn as he knits his brow or has a big grin on his face. His standard attack and biting attack can deal moderate to high damage. Like Spiteful Crows, he can steal a random item in the confusion of the battle. When defeated Ness earns 986 EXP and $171.
When he loses, Everdred informs Ness that Paula was kidnapped by a "chubby boy and a weird guy in a blue outfit" and is being held in his secret hideout, but not by him. Everdred claims that Paula is to be used as a human sacrifice; but a Happy Happyist claims Mr. Carpainter wants her to be the high priestess of Happy-happyism. Which version is true is unknown.
After Ness rescues Paula, Everdred offers to make Ness his partner, though the criminal knows Ness will turn him down. Instead, he gives Ness the Wad of bills – a total of $10,000 in cash.
The next time he appears is in Fourside, where he is found lying wounded outside of Jackie's Café. He claims that he was tricked by Fourside mayor Geldegarde Monotoli into giving over the stolen Mani Mani statue, and tells Ness how to reach Moonside. Ness can ask him to repeat what he says twice before Everdred loses his patience and staggers out of sight, while scaring several people in the process after he suddenly veers towards them.
He appears in Magicant later in the game, as a figment of Ness's mind. After Giygas's defeat, most merchants in Burglin Park will state that they believe his death was a hoax. One in particular says that "Even if Everdred has passed on, he'll keep watch over us from... from...wherever he's at." However, after his appearance in Fourside, The Fourside Post - a newspaper read by Hotel porters - mentions the lonely demise of a long-haired man with beard, sunglasses and an aloha shirt that was found in the street on page 23, implying that Everdred is dead.
Everdred appears to be a fan of haikus, as he tells one in Fourside, calling it "my last Haiku poem". Everdred has an unused ghost sprite. Its purpose is unknown, but it was likely to be used either during the credits or when he is severely wounded outside Jackie's Café.
- A minor reference to Everdred appears in Mother 3. The Aloha Coat item bears a striking resemblance to the Hawaiian shirt that Everdred wears. The stats of the item however do not give a further nod towards Everdred.
- Everdred's Unused sprite is a reference to his offer to being Ness's partner as all other party members, have ghost sprites. Some people speculate that Everdred could have been a party member at some point. It is unknown if Everdred died or not in Fourside. His sprite presumably means he did die or was indeed supposed to aid Ness possibly. This is further evidenced by the fact that the last party member in EarthBound Beginnings, Teddy, was involved in crime. Just like Everdred. This would keep a consistent connection between all four party members between EarthBound and EarthBound Beginnings.
- There is a small mistake when he 'knits his brow'. The description seems to be from the Violent Roach's so the game says Everdred 'knits its brow'.
- If the player goes back to Everdred after Paula has been rescued, but he hasn't given you the Wad of Bills, if Paula is dead (or unconscious.) before Everdred tells you to talk to her parents, he will say to come back once you have actually accomplished something.
- It is unsure if Carpainter rented the cabin from Everdred, or simply used it without his permission, even though Everdred is aware that it is being used either way. Everdred is also aware that it is being used by the Happy Happyists to hold Paula Polestar, but seems reluctant to oppose this usage of his cabin - probably because he finds members/people involved with the cult "Hardcore strange" and is intimidated by them. It is also most likely that the cult is responsible for putting in a jail with a lock door inside the cabin, unless Everdred also used the (remote) cabin to interrogate/hold people himself for his own purposes.
- He somewhat resembles American author Richard Brautigan, specifically with his hat, mustache, and long hair.